August 17, 2009

  • What's your most prized possession? Why?

    This question was sort of hard for me to answer, but I felt like I had to do it, because it's the goddang Featured Question, duh! I have so many things I treasure: My Family, The perception that I'm free, Chapstick, A box full of naked barbies, My Posh-Spice bobble-head, The Carpet in my house, My pimples, Treasure chest filled with gold coins, Memories of my childhood, Memories my alien abduction that I was able to restore through hypnotism, Hanukkah, My fuckin' Swear Jar which probably has like 80 dollars in it, My Enrique Inglesias CD, My pet rock Johnny, 5 lbs of pure orange kush (NOT REALLY!), The voices in my head, The voices in my kidneys, The voices in my tibia, Cannibalism, My Utada Hikaru poster that I pray to every evening before I go to sleep, My Hilary Duff poster that I throw one egg at every morning, My porcupine pal, et cetera.

    You know, there are so many things that I prize. For example, I have a Karate trophy that shows that I got third place at a tournament, which I display proudly in my room despite that fact that there were only three people in my division, counting myself, but I still show it to guests. "Yeahhhh." I say with a smile, "I'm pretty much a badass." and then I ask them if they'd like to touch my trophy. After they hold it for like five seconds, I'm like "Alright, that's enough." and snatch it away to place back on display. Fuck yeah.

    My most prized possession, though, is this soul that I possess. Just to clarify, it's not my soul. You know how certain people just get possessed by demons and then acquire the ability to eat glass and turn their heads all the way around? Well, instead of being possessed by a demon, that person got possessed by ME. Ironically, I possessed the soul of an Exorcist, and even more ironically, he sought counselling and medication to treat me.

       

    I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Comments (31)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment