Dear Apple Computers, inc.,
I am writing this letter to you out of concern for the safety of your product, the Apple "iPad". It has come to my attention that you have no warning label on this product for the Apple "iPad" concerning it's potential as a choking hazard. On June 26th, 2011, I had to be rushed to the Emergency Room after accidentally ingesting your product, which became clogged in my esophagus, and had to be removed in a 4-hour operation that nearly cost me my life. This is a very serious matter that needs to be addressed immediately, as the increasing costs of healthcare could certainly lead to numerous lawsuits concerning your product, the Apple "iPad". Therefore, I am petitioning Apple Computers, inc., to re-call the "iPad", and redistribute them accordingly with a proper warning label that addresses the issue of the "iPad" as a choking hazard. That being said, I am not going to sue because I love Apple Computers, and proudly have been pwning Macs since 1994 and have been doing so ever since. I am eagerly awaiting the launch of your latest product, the "iPad nano", which I heard about from reliable sources (my friends).
Regards,
Nicole Richie
Comments (29)
I dunno, I tried using this same tactic when I sued John Deere over not having the same warning on their tractors. I didn't get paid =(
LOL
OMG - Nori is really NicOle RichIe!!! How did I not see that before? It's all so clear now.
Nice tags.
Haha! That's a good one
HA.
I LOVE YOU AND HAVE MISSED YOU
Go away.
I feel there is a very long disconnect between age groups. Was this a message by a two year old dictated/guided by an adult who switched from speaking by proxy to speaking for his/herself?
lol.
Haha!
Tell them to send you a freshly baked Apple pie shipped overnight. Don't forget the à la mode.
Get a Dell, dude.
Wtf? Was this suppose to be funny? Stay away from top blogs please.
@RulerofMasons - Because she totally has control over that.
This is very interesting I would say
You're alive? why do you disappear and then suddenly show up on Top Blogs? (just wondering)
Hmm. I fully expect to see a follow-up from some woman demanding compensation for the failure of the iPad to collect menstrual fluid and prevent the staining of expensive garments and upholstery.
Nice to see you again.
They could definitely be slimmer and more throat-friendly.
Why do yoy think Steve Jobs really had to take time off from work. He found this out the hard way.
Holy crap how dumb can one get.
The sad thing is hospitals have been sued for stupider things. lol
I have a big mouth, but I'm impressed.
will you finally reveal who you are?
Nicole Richie doesn't eat anything, so I find this hard to believe.
I lol'd
Good post, but I was expecting to see something ranty like the below:
I'm am so fucking sick of Macfags. Whenever I do something on my
computer concerning photography ( i.e. photoshop) in public, or have a
problem with photoshop, which rarely happens by the way because I know
what the fuck I'm doing but someone has to say to me "If you had a Mac
this would look better" or "If you had a Mac you wouldn't have that
problem".
Hearing all these idiots who think that these overly
priced machines with with rounded edges with an interface as deep as the
dent their mother left in their skull from dropping them on their heads
multiple times on the sidewalk, makes me want to go to the nearest
apple store, and find the closest person, customer or employee,
(preferably carrying an iphone, that way I can make it almost look like a
hate crime because so many people carry those damn things these days
they might as well be some sort of race) and start strangling them, and
while they are gasping for dear life say to them all the while "Having
trouble breathing? IF YOU HAD WINDOWS YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM!
BECAUSE THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS CALLED WINDOWS, NOT PC, GET IT RIGHT
MOTHERFUCKERS!"
I am really glad to see you are still writing. As for your case... I prefer eating Zunes. They are more exotic.
This is why I don't by Apple products. Also, allegedly they use conflict minerals in their products, mined by children in Africa who work for slave-like wages. Allegedly.
hahaha funny!
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