Month: June 2012

  • An Announcement

    I'd like to announce that I will soon be releasing an official announcement.

    Here is a picture of a falcon.

  • Aw hell no

    I tried to commit Xangacide recently. I actually pressed the button, but since Xanga is such a fucked-up website, the site timed-out and couldn't process my request, and therefore, it is DESTINY that I stay on Xanga. I could bring up a huge list of people who made Xanga magical liek unicorn that left, taking the magic with them, but on the other hand... meh. They had to follow their hearts and stopping writing the content of their souls, and move onto more meaningful things, like fucking and eating chicken or whatever they're doing. OKAY. OKAY. I'm done being cynical - I'm not going to delete this thing! Let's focus on what's important now: the people who are here, because these are the people who matter. In life, friends come and go like traffic, and sometimes, when you're in that traffic, you see a dead coyote on the side of the road with it's guts hanging out all over the place, and you're like "Gross."

    Wait.

    That didn't make any sense. Anyway, I remember a magical time when everything I posted would garner an absurd number of comments, and I was accused of leading a Kult (yes, it's cult with a 'k'), so I had a brush with nostalgia when I saw this in my inbox:

    I recently found out that last week one of Paige Roberts’s cult minions was arguing with Trev over Xanga. As a response I posted an important post last week on how to recognize a cult, and what the warning signs are that you may be becoming trapped by one. It’s need-to-know information and could well save a life one day, maybe even your own.

    While arguing in and of itself is not something that I care about (though I question the intelligence of adults who feel the need to argue with teenagers over the internet) or will actively get involved with, I thought these turkeys would’ve learned something after the last time the screwed around with me.

    A couple of quick notes:
    -The reason Paige is so pissed at me is because I reported her threats to the police. But what else should she have expected me to do?

    -It IS in fact illegal to threaten someone over the internet, and all threats toward either myself or my family WILL be taken seriously by me. Remember that I do have two minors to keep safe.

    -Not surprising to most of you, I found out after her little prank of last time that connorryan and tendollar4ways were in on it with her. Let that fact sink in for a minute. Two of the more well known anti-christian bigots on Xanga are allied with Paige Roberts.

    -She’s really upset that I don’t share her bigotry against homosexuals, and has reportedly been telling anyone who will listen that I’m a homosexual myself.

    -What started this whole stupid drama thing is she’s upset over the amount of success I’ve had at spreading Christianity. It’s no coincidence that the first altercation was just after I had baptized one of my students, and picked up 3 new families student wise.

    (Likewise this latest altercation is just after I get 12 posts featured between Revelife Momaroo and lovelyish. You can expect even more shenanigans after the book is finished. One of my recent commenters pointed out the priest scandals in the Catholic Church happened very soon after the release of the movie “the passion of the Christ”. It is well known that Satan has often worked this way, and that very well explain’s Paige’s strategy against me.)

    I want to issue this warning to the cult right now. The anti-stalker program that covers my site does cover Trev’s as well. Making threats over the internet IS illegal and WILL continue to be reported to the police. Trev is still a minor so there are laws that apply to endangering him. And as Paige found out, I’m not above passing your personal information out to others her on Xanga.

    What did I just miss!? That's gold, Jerry, GOLD!!!!!!!! Ugh, I feel like just ending all of my sentences with corpulently excessive amounts of punctuation out of pure excitement, because not only is Paigey running her own cult on Xanga (Which has formed an alliance with the United Atheist Republic, one nation, under natural selection, dedicated to crushing Christianity) but has started a war with Nidan, (a long-time subscriber and reader of my amazingly amazing blog) who is not to be trifled with. Those turkeys should not have screwed around with him a second time.

    Look, if a turkey ever screwed with me, I would eat it. I would cut off it's head and see all the guts spill out of it's neck area, then fry it in my backyard, which would cause a huge grease fire that would burn my whole neighborhood to the ground, but I would do it out of principle, because it's the principle that counts here.

    Shit like this goes down errday:



    Gay people don't need to be constantly reminded of how gay they are. They know that they are super-duper gay. They don't need to be constantly told how they're "going to Hell". The gay and lesbian teen suicide rate is alarmingly high. I think that's why Nidan is so adamant about defending gay minors.

    Think about this:

    1. You tell a gay person they're going to Hell
    2. They kill themselves
    3. They're in Hell
    4. You just made someone end up in Hell

    Are you happy now!? Could you look me in the eyes and tell me that you're happy now!? Look, I'm not even taking sides, so please do not get it twisted, alright? OH MY GOD, WHAT IF I COMMITTED XANGACIDE? My Xanga site would end up in Xanga-Hell.

    Think about it: My Xanga site is totally gay. It is so gay that it's gayness is a gaytomic bomb dropped on Gayoshima from the Enola Gay. Xanga-God has said thusly:

    A Xanga must not lie with another Xanga as a Xanga does with a Datingish. This is Xangatestible and both Xangas must get totally stoned!

    - Xangaronomy 4:20

    I think I just literally Neo-dodged a bullet there, literally.

    Literally.