December 22, 2008
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PMS Strikes
I am so pissed right now. Ticked, even. The holiday season is awful, and I never wanted to go out in subzero temperatures into stores packed with people (and the line in the bathroom. How ever shall I take a glorious poo?) whom I hate simply for living in this part of country, so I can buy gifts for a bunch of little assholes who probably won't even say "thank you" when they tear the wrapping paper away.
Therefore, it's time for some angry blogging. Take note that most of the time, while blogging, I am not angry. If I seem angry, I'm usually just kidding, which automatically makes anything I say okay.
According to television, this time of year is supposed to be with "cheer". So, why isn't everyone walking around with smiles on their faces and hugging strangers? The fallacy of these fanciful fantasies are fucked by phallus of facts. Efffff. I'm certain if we were go through enough government documents, we'd learn that Christmas was invented by The Irish, which they are using to control us all.
Whoaaa, racism.
Yeah, how about that, Xanga? I thought a couple months ago, we all agreed that racism was bad, then went home. Wrong. All the white people agreed that it was bad, then went home. Take a trip to the heart of hardXcore azn blogging, and you'll find it's rife with misogyny and racialism. And whiny blogs about relationships. Sweet Darwin in hell. There's always some girl, who is gorgeous, who also is dreadfully insecure, so she sleeps with a bunch of guys, then ends up heartbroken. Her solution? Date less Chinese men, date more Vietnamese.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
I don't even bother giving relationship advice, because whenever I do, the person says they'll try what I just said, then they don't because god-only-knows-why.
Also, STOP TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T WRITE IN MY OWN BLOG, YOU FUCKING DOLTS. I don't have to write about my day. I don't have to bitch about my job. I don't have to complain about how my family acts like monkeys, throwing shit at each other all day.If I want to write a witty article about how we need to bring pink back into fashion, get off my ass about it. Or I will shoot a death ray out of my eyes that will reduce your body to a pile of black ashes. You know who you are, envious girl-writers (also males who are "poets") who hate me personally because apparently, my blog isn't as well-written as yours. YOUR FACE ISN'T WRITTEN AS WELL AS YOURS.
If, per chance, you just subscribed (You made a horrible mistake. I will be sending robots to your house to go on your computers to correct this folly) I apologize. This is a stressful time. I'm stressed out. You're stressed out.Therefore, I'm going to text-scream.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
There, I'm glad I got that out of my system.
-awkward moment-
So, eggnog, anyone!?
Comments (99)
Why yes, I'd love some eggnog.
Wow. O.o *pats shoulder* Want some Nyquil? Makes everything better. Promise.
why can't it be a remi?
Hahahahaha your face isn't well written as yours? Epic.
i'm not stressed out a bit...just sitting here amused....
I know how to solve this:
Have a cup cake!
I can't wait to see how you'll do as a mother.
Rant rant rant yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!
I go around smiling and hugging ppl randomly. Shit gets you locked up with a quickness. On a side note: I'm a gook. Where can I find this dreadfully insecure, gorgeous grl who sleeps around and now wants some pho-loving?
I love flavoring my bourbon with eggnog this time of year.
i think you need to watch some spongebob.
Spike the eggnog, it's brings back the holiday cheer.
'sweet darwin in hell' --- oh that's funny.
I am definitely recommending this. PMS can be such a bitch.
eggnog? fill me up.
i definitely expect to see a death ray youtube video, shortly. do it now.
please don't kill me.
Cookies are always a good stress reliever.
So's Pandemic 2.
only if it's a Jack on the Crack milkshake
I'll be waiting for the day that you shoot death ray out of your eyes and kill everyone in the world
Ashes to ashes, dusts to dusts.
Keep on bitching. It keeps one's stomach from bleeding.
Hokecnty
pms and eggnog. yummy. =P
LOL that was entertaining.
hahaha
Is the eggnog spiked? I think that would make us all feel better at this time of year...Crap, I'm still too young to drink it. But it would help you at least.
Aww. I have a hug over here with your name on it. And by hug I mean not a hug. Because I doubt you want one of those right now.
You should just write what you want to write.
Agreed. Xmas can kiss my ass, along with phony cheery people. Dipshits.
I'll just ninja teleport when the death rays come my way ;p
Sign me up for egg nog!
i haven't had eggnog in... forever.
I'm sorry, but I found this quite entertaining. I love it! I'm so sorry that you're having some "issues" but keep writing! Have a Merry Christmas, Holiday, Hannukah, Kwanza, or whatever! Have a happy week!
You're awesome. This post won my subscription straight from the start! I didn't even get to the part about the robots till afterwards.
It seems a lot of girls I know, my gf included, are going through that time of the month right now. My solution for how guys should handle it:
1. Hide
2. GIVE THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT NO QUESTIONS ASKED
I follow these two rules to the death! Girls are scary, most of the time.
you need tranquilizer.
Wow.
There's no "cheery" people anymore. it's all fake.
Oh honey.
You need some chocolate, ASAP!
oh my goodness.I was almost afraid to finish reading, you were really bitching. But pass on the eggnog myway.
In the words of the legendary themes ong for the show In Living Color, "do what you want to do, in living color"!
LOL I got unblocked. I was going through my feed and I was like, "Huh, I didn't know I could get recommended posts by people that blocked me." so I clicked on it and OWTF!
I am actually curious though, why the hell did I get blocked? I don't even remember saying anything that warranted me being blocked.
Eggnog fixes a lot.
Spiked eggnog fixes more.
Duck tape fixes everything.
ROFL - Don't be coy, Nori; tell us how you REALLY feel!
Wow... theres nothing wrong ranting on in a blog... shit i'd do it too... and eggnog does sound yummy!
A, spike eggnog
B, people look at other people crazy for random happy hugs
Very funny! I feel the same way this time of year.
Good luck with those long lines in the stores.
Thank you for such a well timed post.
I understand your rant... go ahead and say WHATEVER you want... I won't ask for any advice, just take my blog as it is as well...
Oooooo eggnog! Thanks! *YUM*
chill pill mangg
@Ironstove - I have no idea why you were blocked. I don't remember blocking you, but I read your post about me blocking you and was like "Wait, what?"
Oh well. Whatever. I won't pry too deep into it. I suppose I'll just leave things at that.
Uhmmm... Does anyone know what's really IN eggnog?!
@purplepixiepoo - I wholeheartedly agree! Happy Holidays, AvenueToTheReal! Hope you get to have tons of eggnog. It helps more than text-screaming, I think.
Megan
Bless your heart. I don't blame you for being a bit pissed.
It really doesn't even seem like Christmas this year. =[
Well, at least the boozie kind of eggnog helps more. Apparently that isn't the ONLY kind...?
Salty food. It cures my PMS-induced rage.
Eggnog is disgusting. You write entertaining stuff! Yeah, sappy stuff is nice sometimes, but not always. Pink went out of fashion!? I'm out of fashion boohoo, oh well who cares what they think anyway.
Yes Nori, text screaming. It's what I'll teach my children to do.
i think you need something stiffer than egg nog.
Me gusta el egg nogg-o.
Y tu face-o.
I normally lock the rest of the world out during those times... or else I might hurt someone. At least you are not crying hysterically and you have no idea why.
@AvenueToTheReal - I hated eggnog until I realized it was meant to be drunk (drank?) with alcohol.
And those idiots are just jealous because they spend all day trying to come up with something worthwhile, and still fail.
Pie.
to the real, indeed.
Nori, we all know that we'd be aware of your power to shoot death rays if it actually exist. There's no way you wouldn't abuse it.
And the Irish just pretend to be witless drunks. It's what they want you to think.
RAWR. I hear ya.
Oh? Feeling better now?
Eggnog is weird. I had milknog last night and that's also weird. I love this post. That is all.
Oh realllly.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =]
LOL.
Fuck eggnog, Teach me how to do them there eye beams.
Zain
Cool, text- venting your anger is good. *completely ignores death rays directed at me*
can you really shoot death rays out of your eyes? my pops says my mom can, but i've never seen her do it, and i wondered if it might be genetic coz i'd like to be able to do that.
I thought with the title you were going to talk about how PMS is striking and laying off all its employees...the brain, the eyes...uh I don't know what else would come after it...
I think you should write about pink elephants.
I brought the Rum for the 'nog...
*passes out some more rum to put in the egg nog*
~Shopping this time of year isn't fun.at.all...
Damn it...my rum comment was already taken. this is what i get for not looking at the last comment.
I can't stand this time of year either. it is a shit load of stupid people buying into a crap holiday that they know nothing about. Going out spending money on stupid shit they don't need for a bunch of people most of them dont even like. Pushing others around in packed stores and fighting over crap that they couldplay less for in a month all for some fake holiday with more pagan roots to lip services to a god they don't even know shit about. It is really funny how a jolly time of year brings the wrost out in people.
I don't do christmas. My family does Yule and we do it in the closest possible way to the accent Durid traditions. Plus I don't shop at this time of year, I avoid all stores with a shit load of stupid people. Becaue I just might kill some of them if they run into me with all their bitching and shit. LOL.
Also you are right about, why people think they can tell you what to writ in your blog. it is your blog, made by you for your thoughts. I get peopel like that all the time. Although, they are mostly christian, telling me in messages, so others can't read, how bad and evil I am and how I am going to a hell I don't beleive in.
Don't ya just love stupidity.
Illyria
I hate shopping so close to Christmas. I went through that last night. Let's say it ruined the rest of the night no matter how "joyful" or "jolly" I tried to be.
Let's just fast forward to Christmas day and then again to New Years, and get on with our lives again....?
Hahaha, thank God it's a holiday.
I like hot chocolate better, actually. (And as for your blog, I like it just the way it is.)
Have you been hanging out with DMV lately?
P.S. Amazon prime free two day shipping.
I finish all of my x-mass shopping in six hours while half watching youtube videos in the comfort of my own beatup computer chair.
EAT THAT!
-Alexander the Zounderkite
eggnog indeed!
(Christmas is, thankfully, almost over!)
your blog is fun to read actually and I know you're just being comical.
I can't help but wonder why this was featured content.
It seems like ever since I was 14 or so...I've hated Christmas more every year. I'll be glad when I can stop "celebrating" it. I just see it as a day to get presents outside of my birthday.
i love you, ok? (:
Actually, I think your blog is very well written. And yeah, I just subscribed.
Merry christmas
That's so weird. For some strange reason I got really mad when I couldn't take a decent poo, in a quiet stall after I ate my burrito too! It's really upsetting. = (
@TonicSolFan - Anything that gets lots of eprops/views within a certain amount of time makes top blogs. If you used the account you're on now and wrote a post, and had 30ish comments by tomorrow at this time, you'd be on top blogs. It's a computer that selects the posts with the most traffic, not a person. However, a person does select the ones that are center of the front page.
egg nog is good
and don't conform, that's 1/2 of the charm of yer xanga xD
ah, you make me laugh.
spiked eggnog or non?
lol I love your angry blogs! They rock! Hahaha Please don't listen to anyone just keep doing your thing! You make me smile every *single* time!
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays & Happy New Year!!
Ok. I offically love you.
Plus, "If I seem angry, I'm usually just kidding, which automatically makes anything I say okay."
Indeed. : )
~Lily
omg this made my day so0o much better u "said" everything that i needed 2 let out.....YAY EGGNOG!!!!
Spongebob makes my head hurt.
Death Ray? I'd just betchslap them. I really like your blog and the people telling you what you can't and can write are probably just jealous :]]
And the poo parts were funny :p
Your text-screaming hurt my ears, but I felt the agony.
I need to try it sometime.
Stop writing about Christmas. You'll break it.
lol, I love this post. It makes me all happy and cheery and gives me this urge to say I LOVE YOU yeah.
PMSing ROCKS! no.
If it's spiked-HELL YES.
If not-HELL YES.
(I less than 3 eggnog.)
I enjoy your blogs. Props to you. Thanks for adding me.
I've said it before-GREAT MINDS. By the way, I wasn't here when the "no racism" accords were reached. Can I still be politically abrasive? And further BTW, the Irish really ARE trying to control us all. I should know, if you could see me you'd think "DAMN, SHE'S GOTTA BE IRISH!!!"
Comments are closed.