September 1, 2009
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You're Just Mad Because You Let a Dolphin Stick It's Penis In You
Hey, listen you haters and listen GOOD. I am sick of your SHIT. YOU HATERS. ALL YOU DO IS HATE. Sometimes you stay up at night thinking of new ways to hate. "PERHAPZ I SHALL HATE ON MY FOOT LOLCAKES" because you think in ALL CAPS.
WELL, GUESS WHAT. Fuck YOU. FUCK YOU. Yeah, bitch. FUCK you. Fuck YOU. fUcK yOu. God-darn it I think you is such moron and need to shut the fuck up before I stuff a cat in your mouth BITHC.
What you have just witnessed was, well, me murdering the English Language with with a meat cleaver, but more importantly, a text-skit that emphasizes how important it is to stay chill as fuck when people be hating on your looks in public, or on your Xanga blog, or worse, your BroodWar skills. You do not want to flip out and write something of that sort when haters be hating. It makes you look like a very large baby.
It's important to not be afraid to speak your mind, and say on your blog things such as, like, "I think abortion is good, because those babies could grow up to be the next Hitler, especially Austrian babies." but you have to realize that there will be haters. What is a hater? Well, simply put, a hater is a human being who is normally a bright, friendly person, but was either:
a) Injected with the rage virus, thus ushering in the first stages of the zombie apocalypseb) Filled with self-righteous anger based on their particular mental triggers developed through cultural saturation at a young age, setting them off on a holy crusade against everything that you are and symbolize, and will not rest until they have planted a flag with their face on it into your charred remains.
c) they just mad cuz they let a dolphin stick its penis in them lol
The appropriate thing to is to be very, very calm. Some Xanax should help with this. Then, you need to go to your Xanga blog editor. Go to "Photos". Upload a photochopped picture of them with jizz all over their face. Then write the following line: "Hey, [insert their name here], you got jizz all over your face!", then click "save changes". Using this process, you will always be able to remain calm, and respond to their childishness in an adult manner that will show everyone who's the boss, which is you!
Bonus text (stuff I wanted to put in the opening rampage-thingy, but didn't):
I CALLED T3H POLICE LIKE THREE TIMES on you, and you're gonna go to jail, BITCH
Listen kid. You want to die?
I am seriously about to stab you.
Your face is ugly; your odor is horrendous!
FUCK YOU, YOU RUSSIAN MAIL-ORDER BRIDE.
How do you deal with all da haters?
Comments (51)
Bithc.
lrn 2 spellcheck, whore. Also, 28 days later was good, but 28 weeks later totes ruined it. And now it's just cliche...
Edit photos of them and write awkward poems to go under them. ♥
I needed to read this before my last post, lol. Love the picture!
I want the rage virus. Can I have?
I'm offended, as a Russian mail older bride, I just wanted to be fucked...for a visa.
haha, good to see the old Nori back in action.
nice.. this shows good character =)
My vagina aches for Flipper. Unicorns, too.
this is quite possibly the best blogging advice I have EVER read. Awesome post.
Me, I generally just ignore anything that is irrational and try only to respond to the comments that are coherent. Then I only respond to the ones that I can respond to and it would not take me five hours to research and compose a response. Everyone else I just think, eh I'll cover what they said in another entry some time down the line.
Then again I haven't really been subjected with any deep range inducing hate yet. I did however pre-emptively hate on myself which seemed very effective at warding off external hate.
Nice tags. Haha. =P
@kenwats - I <3 Shamu.
I need me a hater so I can copy and paste your rant.
i am the boss!
i don't really talk to opponents i rape. =/
I DO THINK IN ALL CAPS!
@josiebunny - Did Shamu lie to me about not seeing anyone else??
@kenwats - Yep. I was hiding in his blowhole the whole time.
@josiebunny - AH!! So THAT'S why it was tighter than usual. Mystery solved!! Thanks!
I usualy let my inner ghettoness out.
"Aye yo, mutha fucka, I saw you lookin' at me. Don't be playin' all innocent and shit. You got a mutha fuckin' problem, you take that shit up with me, you bitch ass, blasphemus, dope fiend! I will fuck you up. Then I will fuck yo bitch look a like mutha fuckin' homies up! Then I will fuck yo ass up one mo time fo taking it like a bitch! I'll kill all you mutha fuckin' niggas up in this bitch! I'll take you all out with my AK. And my my 4 4! Then, I'm gonna fuck yo bitch! Then I'm gonna shoot the bitch! Then imma fuck her again! So step the fuck back and kick rocks. SKEEEEZAH!!!!"
Usually.
meat cleavers can be sharp. BroodWar skills? I need some BroodWar skills?
You can delete your hate comments?
I welcome haters; they want attention.......
so, how does the dolphin's penis look like?
heay!
I jizz on their face.
Well, I don't have haters. The closest thing I got to a hater was BBDD, but he hated everybody.
I kicked his butt a couple of times,but got bored with it rather quickly. I could never be a troll.
i stick with "listen, kid. you want to die?" sometimes, when i'm really feeling it, i'll add "think about it."
Rofl. I laugh =D
Months back i was talking to ascientific writer on xanga about the great flood and i mentioned that it was in all the religious books of the region of the Tigris-Euphrates Valley. There are frequent floods there i understand and she pointed out correctly that this is also the time of the great thaw, which is also true, and places it about the time of the cave paintings at Lascaux. That's 35-40 thousand years ago, and by that time it is not in any question that we had evolved in2 the identical species we are now.
Ordinarily i'd have this discussion in a private chat room but this one just sorta happened back and forth. What was funny is this asshole from somewhere keeps butting in and talking creationism and we both just ignore him. I completely ignore him and she politely ignored him and he becomes furious until he goes off and sulks.
My point is that i've tried counterattacks and they just make it worse. It seems to really drive these people crazy if u just act as if they're not even there. I guess they're here to argue themselves in2 believing, and need some help, and they go away if they dont get attention.
Now in some settings U cant ignore them but on xanga it always seems to work just fine.
I really enjoyed seeing that asshole have a fit.
meh, I am just a lazy hater.
& usually take any action out on myself, well it always somehow ends up hurting me.
I go with "People like you are the reason I'm pro choice".
hahaha you cussed everybody out!
In all fairness, I sat on the dolphin by accident. Didn't see it there.
i pray to jeezus.
dolphin penis is full of vitamins and nutrients. everyone could stand to be raped by a full school of porpoises at least once per year.
How I deal with haters is top secret. That is what makes it that much better.
I have no haters... Does this mean I have to return my Xanga TRUE badge?
~V
I don't really get haters because I have made no secret of the fact that I am a wuss who isn't worth fighting.
@TheTheologiansCafe - what are you talking about, you outed yourself in your own post about feeding the trolls, and how they have become lazy
I missed reading your posts!!
Just think of what Katt Williams said.
"So what she/he keeps talking about you and hating on you. What do you think a hater's job is? To fucking hate! If you have someone hating on you right now you better think of how to get 5 more people hating by Christmas."
"Now, sit back and tell me my hair aint luxurious when you know it is, bitch."
Those darn dolphins.
how long is a dolphin penis?
They're not haters, they're just lovers with opinions.
We could just kill everyone, then we wouldn't have to worry about teh hatars.
I can't say I really have haters on my blog or in real life. I think I'm too mellow.
I feel like a changed man.... but I'm pretty sure the cultural diaper will have to be changed again soon enough.
I think Katt Williams said it best, "Understand people are gonna hate you regardless. Get that out of your head, that fantasy world where people ain't hating on you. You gotta be grateful. You need haters. WTF you complaining about. WTF do you think a haters job is? To f'ing hate. So let them do their damn job. WTF you complaining about. Ladies if you got 14 women hating on you, you need to figure out how the hell to get to 16 before the summer gets here. Fellas, if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of those m'fers. WTF you complaining about. If there are any haters in here right now that don't have anybody to hate on, feel free to hate on me."
Peace.
simple. Continue pissing them off till they're mad as hell with jealosy while I enjoy it
makes me entertained.
THIS MADE ME HAPPY.
I'm not sure if that was the intent, but it made me smile...
"The appropriate thing to is to be very, very calm. Some Xanax should help with this."
LOVE IT
Because of your haters you have written a very successfully entertaining blog entry that has definantly motivated me to read your xanga more often.
It could be because I'm so awesome, but I can't remember ever encountering a hater. It could also be because I'm so unimportant.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=149464&id=1581912322
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=149464&id=1581912322
lol omg i love ur blogs, broodwar. hahaha.
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