so lyke dis obama muthafucka did won da elecshun n stuff and yeah. wut. john mccain is a cock. yeah i said it and shit. lyke wut da fuck iz up wit palin???????????????/// she tjhink it ok to shoot polar bears wit tanks n shit lyke wtf damn. i have black frenz who iz like celebating lyke omg n i happy 4 dem cuz all da prezs wuz whyte and shit so lyke we ttly needed black man and shit like fuck. but lyke obama is orange like super orange like damn like a gurl who jus smeered herself in tanning oil or livez on a strict diet of carrots or sum shit. im jus sayn.

There.

Best "Obama wins" post ever written.

Since you're all obviously caught up god-only-knows-what, I'd like to remind you that today is Election Day in America, which is very, very important, because the media says so. Personally, I don't care if you don't vote, and in fact, I encourage you not to. Not out of principle, mind you, because I could stand on a soap box (Dove, not Lever 2000, which is shit) and tell you why the election is secretly rigged and run by the Irish. I could tell you that if you get all fired up and narcissistic about how important your vote is, then you're just being... wait. I'm not going to tell you.

Because you're too lazy to read this entire post anyhow.

"Where are all the funny pictures!?" you ask? Well, you don't get any today. You've been very naughty and I'm going to get the fuzzy purple handcuffs, and punish you by chaining you to the bed by whipping you. Then sodomizing you with a cucumber. That will silence your belligerence.

No, the reason you're not going to vote is because you're lazy and you know it. You're the kind of person who needs to write something down, but won't, because the pen is on the other side of the room. "Ah, fuck it." you say, and then go back reading perezhilton.com. Soon, drool oozes down your chin. "Gross", you think, but add, "Should I wipe it off? Nah, nobody's coming over, so it doesn't really matter."

If this is the case, and it probably is, then you probably also didn't bother to find out about the candidates. Instead, you just listened to whatever random things you heard about them, like that Obama's middle name is "Hussein" (Holy shit, right?) and that John McCain is really old. Therefore, if a bunch of people like you vote, you're going to screw everything up.

You sicken me.

Anyhow, there are a bunch of people who say they will move out of America if one candidate is elected or the other. It's usually due to some really, really extreme reason, like "This whole country will be destroyed if a black man is in office." and yes, I could certainly see all the neighborhoods and cities being piles of ashes with skies red from radiation because the pigmentation of a particular candidate's skin has more melanin than we're accustomed to. But do you really want to move away? To Canada!? Sorry Canadians, but your country seems too good to be true, and I know behind your promise of low crime, low pollution, low taxes, universal health care and delicious pancakes, I know you're hiding some kind of horrible secret from us. Maybe it's Avril Lavigne. I don't know.

Personally, I'd be happy with either candidate. I think either one would bring their one unique leadership capabilities to the presidency, and that either one would have shortcomings. If you're scared terrorists will attack us because Obama is elected, don't worry! They'll probably look at his name and go "Wait... did we win?" then be so drunk on Jihad-juice that we'll be able to zidane the piss out of Al-Qaeda. If John McCain is elected, yes, he probably will die, as most humans do, but if you're worried about Sarah Palin being unprepared for the job, don't worry; there's no way she can be worse than Dan Quayle.

Who is it going to be?

John McCain?

 

- or -

Barack Obama?

Other options include "I'm not going to vote, because I don't care", "I'm voting for a third-party candidate", and "I plan to go into the voting booth, be in it for about five minutes, then yell out 'Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!'"

Let me know what your opinion is!

I was talking to my friend Jonathan (subscribe to his site, if you want Santa to live) the other day and I started thinking a lot about my family and how much they mean to me. I think I spend far more time on Xanga than I do showing my family I care about them. That didn't seem right to me.

So, the other day, I called them up and just cried the whole time I was on the phone. That probably freaked everyone out, and they probably thought I was drunk. I wasn't.

Anyhow, Xanga's cool and all, but I know a lot of people who've also gotten really caught up in it. Others, not so much. They type out an entry once a week or so, then go back to whatever they do normally. They don't care about who's who on Xanga or who said what in which blog. That seems kind of nice, actually.

How much time do you spend on Xanga? How much time do you spend with your family?

This is Lindsay Lohan. You're welcome.

Now, apparently, Lohan got into a fight with Ugly Betty star America Ferrera, which caused the number of episodes with Lohan to go from 6 to 4 because she quit the show. Omg, amirite? For whatever reason, they didn't get along on the show's set, and now, Lohan quit in a very, very dramatic fashion that makes me believe that the show's producers made up the entire story to promote "Ugly Betty" (On AB fucking C!) and nothing ever happened. I mean, people all over the place are gonna go "Whaaaaa?" when they hear that there was all this drama, and then tune in. The show's makers will then drive away in brand-new cars, probably ones made in Europe.

Do you think Hollywood drama is real, or are people just making all this up to keep us interested?

Hey Xanga,

Lately, I made a prank site to make fun of a guy who is a disrepectful asshole. I took it wayyy too far, and I ended up inadvertently hurting some people's feelings. I didn't mean to do that, that's why I made the list in the post below, because that's how I really feel.

So, if you're mad at me right now, and think I'm pathetic or awful, well, I kind of am for doing that. I totally screwed up. You have a right to be mad at me, but I hope you can forgive me.

 - nori

Some people think I'm a horrendous bitch, and others think I'm awesome and love me. As far as my posts go, some people think they're "ZOMF DA FUNNYEST THING EVAR" and others say "Eh, not that good. I don't get it." I figure the truth is approximately somewhere in the middle, preferably closer to being good. Anyhow, in the midst of all my Xangaing (and yes, it's a verb now, which in no way is connected to our stagnant economy) I've had the opportunity to look into the thoughts of so many people that I feel like a frickin' telepath.

I'm gonna attempt to list a modest few of them, and what I really think about them:

A___beautiful___disaster - Definitely one of the better writers on Xanga.

Aaronmcnees - I maintain that he's the true winner of the Mr. Xanga title. He's a poet who licks cats, blogs on Xanga and publishes books. A lot of people tell me they know all these 'talented poets', but this guy actually makes poetry and art that is dead cool.

AbsolutAngel64 - Her layout screws up my computer, but I still visit because she's freaking hilarious, and constantly challenging me, because I find myself thinking "Cripes, that's clever. How come I didn't think of that!?"

Aimvpr - The mysterious, yet hilarious Jenny-on-the-spot never ceases to entertain and challenges me to be funnier everytime I visit.

AliasUncover - The most funny guy I've read that can still be Christian and still clever when it comes to humor. No cussing or crude humor required! Amazing!

Alphareyx - A very rad dude.

Amarisa - I tried to draw a picture of her and did a terrible job. I'll get some drawing skills and totally make for that, though.

Another_rebel_without_a_cause - He's an original Xangsta and a proud minion of the Evil Xanga Klique, hence the logo displayed on his page.

Anth0nyc - He finds the most cool pictures and posts them. All of his posts have at least one absolutely amazing picture in them.

Antisoccermom - She's beautiful, smart, witty and a great writer. She's also a very cool mom, hence her name. She's not the douchey, cranky mom who steps out of a mini-van to force her kids to play soccer or rugby or whatever. She's the antisoccer-mom.

Askdante - I'm not sure what would've happened if he hadn't asked Xanga to make it possible to buy Xanga LIFE. I kind of wished he could've gotten to it, and if anyone has enough credits, they should definitely considered hooking him up.

Aquastarrynight - Takes the cake for the smartest girl on Xanga, especially when it comes to politics.

Authentic_black_dragon - This guy is a ninja and he knows it. No, he's literally a ninja. I'm not even being funny here. Plus, I love talking to him on AIM probably more than anyone else. Wait. That was bad English. Does that mean I love him more than anyone, or does it mean I love him more than everyone? Hm!

Ayca - When Ayca first visited my site, I didn't know she even worked for Xanga. I like talking to her because she's very sweet, but also smart. Ayca is awesome.

beli_grrl - I can't really put my finger on why I like reading her. It could be because she's very genuine and honest.

Blanket_attack - What is a 'blanket attack'? Very simple; it's when a blanket jumps out of nowhere and brutally attacks you, sometimes fatally.

BlueMarsupial - She's so funny and random and love it.

California_Gal - I have a ton of respect for this woman. She's funny, strong, clever, been through a lot of life and has one of the best avatars I've ever seen. She's one of the biggest blogging influences I have as far as my style goes. I even stole ninja'd her discussion question style.

CallMeQuell - Beautiful and talented writer.

Cakalusa - He's the original Xangalebrity, and was such before the concept was even invented. He became popular on Xanga before being popular on Xanga was even thought of. Xanga's popular crowd has evolved over the years, with people coming and going, but he's managed to hang on over all the years, and come out with a new post almost everyday since 2002. He also happens to be awesome in Starcraft matches.

ChocolateCoveredKittens - I love that site name. Holy crap, that's funny.

ClichedGuy - The JME > you

Clockworkbunny - She's on my watchlist of people who could become a Xanga celebrity at pretty much any time. She just introduced me to Imeem, who is not Middle Eastern gentleman, but rather, a kick-ass music player site. Thanks, JoJo!

Coincidentally - I just started reading her site, but it's one of the better ones, I can tell.

CrazyXBeautifulXDisaster - One of the few people with X's in their name that I give my condescending stamp of approval from my golden cloud of judgement. Seriously, I thought she'd just be another emo site where some girl decorates all her paragraphs, which are just sing-songy rants about how she's either insanely in love or completely heart-broken. So far, none of that here. She's basically a writing-ninja.

Cuteluvr21 - I really liked reading her rants. She needs to get back on Xanga sometime.

DanteCARAX - He's the token English guy on Xanga, which I find to be bloody brilliant. Does he have the English sense of humor. The answer: Aye. That is all.

Dare2bdiferentt - He'll probably rename his blog right after I write this, knowing how these things go. Anyhow, he's one of the people to watch, because he could very easily get ahold of the much-coveted Xanga Fame. I sure think so, at least.

Deedubau - One my Starcraft-playing compadres, who is definitely going to be super-gosu in the future, with his fancy new 100-dollar mouse.

Dravo - He's been reading my site before you. Period.

Drakonskyr - BEHOLD. Poo


DriftingGC8 - He has the most hilarious MS paint skills I've ever seen. It should be illegal to be that funny. He's either the funniest or one of the funniest guys on Xanga.

DrugInducedDuck - Probably is my favorite site to read on Xanga. He's almost always joking about something, so it actually feels weird when he says something serious, like I've entered the twilight zone or some shit. When the zombies strike, I'm hiding in his basement. He's the leader of his own mind-controlling kult, known as the Evil Xanga Klique.

Eclipse_the_dawn - I just started reading him, but he seems pretty funny.

Edlives - Founder of the Brain Fried Network, which provides a toolbar to connect to various networking and news sources.

EilisAngelos - =)

ElbowPASTA - If anyone complains that Xanga shouldn't try to get teenaged bloggers, because they supposedly can't write for beans, I will point them in Elbow's direction. Pwned, bitches.

ETCACTOR - Without this guy's help, it would've been so much harder to get 100,000 credits. He's awesome.

Flashlivesforever_29 - BEST POET ON XANGA.

FogofConfusion - Is a ninja. IS A FREAKING NINJA.

GERKShinobi - Best photographer on Xanga. He doesn't blog much anymore, but I'm fine with that; he's doing one of the most respectable jobs possible: Nurse. Everyone wants to be rockstars and models, but he picked a great thing to be.

Grammarboy - Such a funny guy... it's too bad he's always so busy and can't hardly post. He also made a Xangan Idol t-shirt, which was extremely cool, I thought.

GreekPhysique - Now that you mention it, he does look like Adam Corolla! I miss avatar where he's staring a packet of skittles, mystified.

GunstarHero1988 - I definitely think this guy should go ahead and try to be a writer. If anyone should, he should. He and Schristian are currently writing a novel, and from what I heard about it, it's going to be wicked awesome.

HeartOfPandora - She makes layouts that are actually really good, and wants to move to Europe. Doesn't everyone?

Heyjulsiscool - Possibly the funniest girl on Xanga. Possibly!

Iamthebella - She's The Bella! The hilarity of her rants is ninja-like.

ilsurvive - Gosh, what can I say about her? Controversial? Yeah, that kind of fits. If you think nothing good ever comes from Xanga Dramatics, well, I got to know a bunch of really cool because of her. Don't worry, in the end, we put all the bullshit behind us and are on friendly terms now.

iStephanieMarie - It's not a damn apple endorsement! Ever heart of "I, Robot"? Steph is a robot. That explain her calculator-like brainpower. Okay, that sounded sarcastic, but it's not; she's not some dumb blonde by a longshot. She's one of the new "Smart Blondes".

Ironstove - HE ACTUALLY DRANK IT! ROFL

Jigg - I'm a huge fan of Jigg. All his posts are good, which I don't think most people can say. I think his relationship advice is excellent; it's not some cliche  rubbish thrown together in list-form (like I'd probably do) but real good stuff. He also is scary good at cosplay. Like damn.

John - Owns Xanga, pwns Facebook. He, Marc and Dan got together in 1999, and probably after an intense Tetris match, Marc threw down his controller and yelled "This is bullshit!" and then mentioned how he would most definitely blog about it. "Wait, hold on..." John said, "That gives me an idea! What if there was a website where everyone could have a blog?" and hence, Xanga was born. To celebrate, John went and got some ice cream. Then he dropped it.

Jonathan - This guy likes to write about politics and computers, which I always considered relatively boring subjects, but he isn't a boring guy at all. He's funny, creative and ambitious. He's also running for Xanga President, and hopefully, will win it!

Kenwats - A surprisingly inspiring and funny guy, Kenwats just keeps it cool and yet witty with his rants.

KuyaD - I always want to be playing Starcraft with him, because he's so much fun. Unfortunately, since he's in school, he doesn't blog often, so I mostly know him for his skill in SC matches. FUCK OFF ALDARIS, I HAVE PLENTY OF PYLONS.

Laryssa - I love her. Kick-ass ninja. I have some really, really interesting funny conversations with her.

lbjucb3 - I still don't know how to pronounce his name, but he said my favorite blog to read was mine on his site, and that was so cool. He definitely one of my favorites to read.

la_dolce_vida - Sometimes, when a person gets a lot of readers in a short amount of time, they can get really arrogant about it. Not her. Somehow, she's sexy and smart, gets readers and yet, is humble about it. That's very rare.

Leadwoodfolk - This guitarist is also a blogger who posts funny news articles on his site.

Legendairy - He's the Dark Knight of Xanga, and fights the evil of illiteracy with bloody smashing wordplay.

Life_by_us - I encountered Amanda first while setting off that Xanga Credit Race, and linked her on the first post, and coincidentally, she won the Xanga Premium for Life that I promised I'd give out. She is a wonderful and beautiful mother of... I'm gonna guess 45 kids now. I need to keep up with this stuff, considering that I'm her biggest fan.

Lithium98 - He leaves me the most fucking funny comments.

Lovesporks - I also love pork. Especially bacon! MMMM! Okay, so anyhow, Brenda's a lot of fun, and has a great smile. I loves it!

LyricsNinja - I feel like I'm a broken record for saying people are 'smart', so I'm gonna label him as perspicacious instead. I think he wants to be one of those hardcore guys on Xanga who is a jerk, and yet, everyone loves. I think he's sweet, though, so he's got work to do.

MadisonLinh - She's absolutely stunningly gorgeous, and I'd say she's smart, even though she decided to share a ticket for Xanga President with Yosho, haha.

Maebemaebenot - Mae is cool.

Mayanao - She's a ninja. She will fXck your shXt up.

MethodElevated - She has balls.

But seriously, she needs to win some Xanga contests.

Meunonomo - Her name confuses me and I get scared, and occasionally, pee my pants. I've visited a few times, and she's really funny, and probably should take off the friends lock, unless of course, snooping parents.

Mickey_dies - He left the funniest comment I've ever read on my site, which reads: "You should use diplomacy to negotiate territory with the spider."

Mileyfan08 - She likes to blog about everyday life, sprinkled with a light dash of poetry.

MuseErato - No one muses like MuseErato! She's very thoughtful and clever, and when I started this Xanga site, she was the first person I subscribed to.

Meriibunny - Is a pirate. Yarrr!

Natalia - Natalia is so much fun to talk to. If I didn't think it'd interfere with her  job, I'd be bugging her all the time. Like everyone else I've talked to on Xanga's team, she's really smart, but not just book smarts; I mean those other smarts, like ninja smarts. She's also really witty and makes me crack up laughing.

NimbusTheDragon - Super-talented and amazingly funny. I don't think she gives herself enough credit. She can take a bad day and make it something humorous and fun to read. I read her comic strip and it made me really want to learn to draw.

npr32486 - HA! I memorized the numbers in his name to write this! He's sexy and needs to just walk around shirtless.

o_dirty_blonde_o - She uses her blog to write about celebrities and their red-carpet-covered world.

Parappa411 - Our lovely condition! BEST BLOG ON XANGA!

Porcupinesol - One of my best xanga-friends, and definitely someone I care about. We have so much in common and can talk for hours about life's never-ending shower of bullshit, and just make each other laugh. I like how we both have the same sense of humor and have a lot of similar experiences. Plus, she has the sexiest tattoo ever.

Note: Without Remy, there would be no AIM chats. I didn't even think about using AIM for Xanga until she asked if I had one.

Prufrocksrevenge - This guy's rants are the best. He's smarter than anyone I've ever met on Xanga and also, one of the funniest. I wish he would blog more.

Purplepixiepoo - She lives all the way in the Philippine Islands of the coast of Asia, but has a huge impact on all these bloggers here in America. She's been consistantly dominant in almost every major Xanga contest since Xangan Idol, because her candidate won Xangan Idol, her candidate got 3rd place in the sequel, she got more votes than anyone in Miss Xangamerica in every round before dropping out, and then, she helped StephanieMarie, who then won. She won Relaxolgy's layout design contest, as well. She's also one my best Xanga friends and love her. She's great.

Radjbo - She and Jonas run Buncheduptv!

RaVnR - She's one of my favorite bloggers to read and somehow, I forgot to add her to this list! That just goes to show how absent-minded I can be (imagine that). I think she had guts doing the XXXanga contest, and actually, caused a tremendous amount of discussion about breast cancer.

RedHairedCelt - She's the author of several novels and pretty much does what everyone dreams about: writing for money. Sometimes when people post snippets from their novels, I get bored fast and don't make it through the whole thing, but I've read hers, and yes, it's good, like a bowl of chocolate mint ice cream.

Relaxolgy - A beautiful and clever mother, who is gifted with words.

RockOfEadie - Holy cats. He's fucking Eadie! The way our senses of humor sync up almost perfectly is a little spooky, almost like we were seperated at birth. Maybe we were. Anyhow, he bought me my Xanga LIFE! He's fucking awesome!


RunningWithScalpels - Her taste in music is most excellent. -bow-

Saintvi - She made the most epic series of Xanga art I've ever seen.

Schristian - Now, this guy doesn't give himself enough credit for how talented he is. I think that he can act somewhat brashly sometimes, but is actually very sweet, loyal and caring. It's too damn bad that so many people judge books by their cover so often.

Scrooge0 - Very funny guy, and his zealot rush is very rad.

Seargent_Peppers - All I can say is that she has to be the most witty and quick-witted girls I've ever met.

Should_i_tell_you - While attempting to be super-logical with me discussing an absurb subject, he inadvertently said the nonsensical phrase, "In a perfect world, grenades are everywhere."

Silence_of_words - He lives in Germany! How rad!

SteffsConfessions - I love her randomness. It cracks me up.

StewieIsMyHero - I tried to cheat to get her to win Miss Xangamerica, but it didn't work. The other judges... well, let's not get into that. She has some very impressive Guitar Hero skills, which I totally did not see coming.

Storyslut - She loves writing and reading stories!

TenshiiRage - She's a great writer, and needs to enable her comments more often so I can tell her so.

The44thHour - You need to call him Andrew. Nothing else. None of this "andy" rubbish. He hasn't been around much because of school, which is good for him, but he's  definitely awesome to have around.

TheBlackSpiderman - He's the leader of the fuckin' Xangstas! Also, when I'm always getting down on myself, he's always encouraging me. Early on, when I started blogging again, I was actually jealous of his blog at first, but later, we formed an unholy Xanga alliance of radness. I supported him when he did Xangstas, and he supported me doing Xangan Idol, and we blew up like balloons, and luckily, not weight-wise. If Xanga ever gets too boring, fear not, we'll team up again.

ThePhilsBlogBar - A very honest, open, polite and intelligent gentleman from England, who is thoughtful and a little bit shy.

TheRadnessQueen - I love that name.

Thestandards - Created by PontiusPilate and Shuddertothink, The Standards is a hilarious satirical comic that followed the disjointed and dysfunctional lives of a group of friends living in surreal world created by Gimp.

TheTheologiansCafe - There's a lot more to him than questions, links, newstories and boobs. He's like the godfather of Xanga, and has an overwhelming wealth of knowledge about web design and web traffic. Without him, I wouldn't be where I am now, and I would probably have just burned out on Xanga. So, I'd just like to say a special thanks to him right here for believing in me, trusting me and helping me.

Tpc_Reio - He does kind of look like Pharrel Williams. His Xanga name means "Toilet paper crew" and needs extra credits to change it, because apparently, that was cool back in the day, but now... not so much.

Vampiric_essence - K-Rawr: that's my homegirl.

VaultESL - One of the best damn story-writers to ever set foot on Xanga. Man, I miss this kid.

VersaGratis - Every Christian should take a page out her book, because she's one of the nicest, sweetest people I've ever had the opportunity to talk to.

Vitamin_D - Dee found something awesome: Martial arts. She kind of reminds me how I was when I started it: determined to get belts, but nervous about the tests constantly. I'm sure, because of this, she's going to be one of the best in that studio in a couple years.

Trunthepaige - I almost forgot to add Paigey! The thing I love about her is that while most people shrink down and shy away from defending their faith, she stays on it like a leech on an artery, sucking the secularness out of people.

That might've been a bad metaphor... I meant it in a good way, though, like she kicks ass for Jesus or something.

Wanabperfectordead - She really supported me and helped me reach my credit goal when I decided to go for it. I was surprised she didn't want anything in return for it. I always try, whenever I can, to let her know she's great.

Wherethefishlives - Xanga needs The Fish, for two reasons, the first being that there just isn't enough good comedy on the site, and second, when all that 'drama' occurs, someone needs to stay cool for everyone else's sake. I also have a confession. I've never heard any of his songs, but I'll get on that.

Whotakethmycoke - For some reason, he puts up with all my craziness, which I find to be totally awesome.

Wutuwaitn4 - Without Wuwu, I wouldn't exist. I wrote a post about not having anything to write about, and by chance, he found me, and left a comment that said there's always something to write about. Then, I visited his site, and read a post that changed my freaking life. Hence, here I am.

xx_extraordinarymachine_xx
- In my early days, I didn't get much support for my blogging, so I've
always been glad to see this guy around. He's so awesome, and the
stupid assholes in his town just don't see it because he's Middle
Eastern. Racist bastards.

yloperil - He could be great if he let himself be.

---

If your name's not there, and you're shocked and disappointed, don't be. I just started thinking of every name I could possibly remember, which means I probably missed a lot of names. If there's someone on there that you think I should definitely write about, let me know!

Also, for some people, I don't know... It'd be like me writing "ch0w - uhhhhhhhhhhhhuhhhhmmmm... is dope? YA, TTLY."

And, by the way ch0w is dope. Very soon, people will be walking around in t-shirts saying "ch0w is dope", and because it's on a t-shirt, that makes it witty and true.

---

As you can tell, I meet a lot of people. I'm not cliquey, so if you leave me a comment or message, I usually try to get back to the person who sent it.

I will definitely comment back on everyone who comments on this entry, because I wanna say hi to all the cool people reading this.

Do you have a blogger that inspires you or someone you look up to?

Some people set goals for how many comments, subscribers and footprints they want to receive. I think having goals is a great thing.

When I started off, my goal was to get 20 comments per post.

Do you set comment goals (Even subliminally)?

If so, how many comments do you want to receive when you post?

Buy less shit.

   

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!